Bloodlines: Everything That Glitters is the first in a series of young adult fantasy novels by first time author Myunique C. Green. Alizarin and her twin brother Ash were as normal as people could be…until they started getting strange abilities. Before long, they find out that their mother is actually a nature goddess from another dimension who has lost her powers and memories, & there is a power-hungry being after Alizarin because she is the subject of a prophecy. Why can she just be normal?
The overall plot of the story is very good, and I liked it a lot. I’m not usually one for fantasy but this was very interesting. However, it has some major grammar and storyline issues that need to be fixed. The grammar issues are easy to fix, since it was all fairly simple stuff (spelling mistakes, missing words, run-on sentences, & words that are used incorrectly). There were also a few format glitches on the Kindle version. She really just needs to have someone edit it.
The storyline issues are a little more problematic, but can be fixed. The pace of the story is way too fast. Everything happens so quick that there is no build up or any time for reaction after. In fact, there really isn’t much reaction or emotion from most of the characters. The only one you really get into the head of is Ash, but that’s only when it flashes back to his POV. You also don’t get any since of how much time is going by. There are mentions of stuff going on that sound important, like training, but you never see it or hear much about it. You only find out about it when someone has some new ability. The POV changes also throw the flow off as well. They just backtrack several days and rehash an event long after it’s already happened. It would be better to switch back and forth while it’s going on.
There are also some inconsistencies. There is one point in the book where Nikko takes Alizarin to Paris and she gets to see a memory of her father and is told his name. Later on, he speaks to her in her mind, identifying himself, and tells her she had to accept who she is. Afterwards, they have to explain to her who he is since she doesn’t have any idea who he is. At another point, Alizarin tries to kill her best friend Lee after she learns that he has betrayed her to the enemy. May just stands there while all this is going on; her best friend that she has known for years suddenly has super strength, can read minds, and has fire coming out of her body. Here only reaction is to say that she wants to go home.
Alizarin’s characterization is all over the place. One minute she shy and has no interest in sex due to the horrible experience she had when she lost her virginity. The next minute, she’s suddenly in a ‘dry spell’ and all but ripping her clothes off. When she’s not wallowing in self-pity, she is actively trying or about to strangle someone (or at least thinking up ways to harm them). In other words, she’s bat poopie…which is pretty bad when she is a prophesized hero. Now, I understand that she’s stressed and whatnot, but there is no reasonable explanation for her to be the way that she is. All in all, she really isn’t a sympathetic character. Ash, by comparison, is. He is constantly taking the brunt of Aliza’s temper and is surprisingly stable. In fact, he puts his own issues aside to try to help her. His only flaw is that he’s a total man-whore. His sex scene with Corey is way too graphic considering the age range that the book is aimed at and the fact that the others written in the book are nothing in comparison.
Overall, the book isn’t bad. I really liked it and I will read the sequel when it comes out. It does need some polishing though. Like the grammar issues, I think that the storyline issues are easily fixable. She just needs to sit down and go back through the story. Having a good editor will help. The book is available in both ebook format ($0.99) and print ($19.50 +shipping) on Amazon.
I received the above mentioned product for free to help facilitate my review.